Hello. I'm so sorry I haven't responded to comments etc. I was feeling a bit blah! Thank you very much for your kind words and wishes, they all cheered me up but I just couldn't or didn't find the words to respond. (Aidan, the boys were over the moon at your comment, I shall put them on the next available flight, but only if you can arrange for your Dad to be there. Surrogate Grandfather and all that and after all you do work awfully long hours!)
Anyway word is that the disc has to come out. It's a priority case but because the nerves are only partially crushed and I still have bladder and bowel function (aren't I the lucky one!) it's not an emergency so may have to wait one to two months for op. The fact that our lives are totally and utterly messed up and I'm in agony despite becoming a junkie means very little. I can't sleep which is why I'm writing this at gone 1am. I look like a bag of poop, but none of this makes a difference. We may go private but it's a lot to think about when you don't have private medical insurance anymore. It's not like paying to have a an ingrown toe nail removed.
I'm grumpy because I can't cook what I want, when I want. I'm grumpy because I can't drive and I'm stuck in the house. I'm grumpy because I am just grumpy! This is not in my nature. Yes I can have the odd moment of grumpy who doesn't, but my husband will tell you it's not really me. I'm just not like this and that's making me even grumpier.
Actually I probably shouldn't be writing this now because it was a bad day and I am really okay. I have wonderful friends who are rallying round and making sure the children are picked up from nursery and school. I get lots of phonecalls and people drop in for coffee. As I can no longer drink alcohol I take great delight in choosing exotic soft drinks and I like to have them in nice glasses. A sherry glass for this, a champagne or wine glass for that. Whatever floats your boat I say!
I've also become addicted to ebay. No talking required - just buying! I've bought some lovely things. An antique day bed, a Lombok chair and a beautiful patchwork throw and cushions. I have my eye on several other things but I have a feeling that my internet connection will be sabotaged during waking hours (like he'd dare!). I know our house is quite small but we do still have the cross trainer in the lounge, until it's moved upstairs and somehow the multigym fit in the shed, I can always remind him of these things!
As ever my boys, Hubs, Little and Small are being truly amazing!
Signed with love
Grumpy or Eeyore, I'm not quite sure which or who I'm resembling most! Now when I pictured myself as a donkey that did make me laugh. Could be the ass thing! xx
p.s. at the weekend I'm going to cook something with Hubs and we'll post about it. I'm going to stat planning tomorrow as I want to have very lovely things!