Wednesday, 5 March 2008


Hello. I'm so sorry I haven't responded to comments etc. I was feeling a bit blah! Thank you very much for your kind words and wishes, they all cheered me up but I just couldn't or didn't find the words to respond. (Aidan, the boys were over the moon at your comment, I shall put them on the next available flight, but only if you can arrange for your Dad to be there. Surrogate Grandfather and all that and after all you do work awfully long hours!)

Anyway word is that the disc has to come out. It's a priority case but because the nerves are only partially crushed and I still have bladder and bowel function (aren't I the lucky one!) it's not an emergency so may have to wait one to two months for op. The fact that our lives are totally and utterly messed up and I'm in agony despite becoming a junkie means very little. I can't sleep which is why I'm writing this at gone 1am. I look like a bag of poop, but none of this makes a difference. We may go private but it's a lot to think about when you don't have private medical insurance anymore. It's not like paying to have a an ingrown toe nail removed.

I'm grumpy because I can't cook what I want, when I want. I'm grumpy because I can't drive and I'm stuck in the house. I'm grumpy because I am just grumpy! This is not in my nature. Yes I can have the odd moment of grumpy who doesn't, but my husband will tell you it's not really me. I'm just not like this and that's making me even grumpier.

Actually I probably shouldn't be writing this now because it was a bad day and I am really okay. I have wonderful friends who are rallying round and making sure the children are picked up from nursery and school. I get lots of phonecalls and people drop in for coffee. As I can no longer drink alcohol I take great delight in choosing exotic soft drinks and I like to have them in nice glasses. A sherry glass for this, a champagne or wine glass for that. Whatever floats your boat I say!

I've also become addicted to ebay. No talking required - just buying! I've bought some lovely things. An antique day bed, a Lombok chair and a beautiful patchwork throw and cushions. I have my eye on several other things but I have a feeling that my internet connection will be sabotaged during waking hours (like he'd dare!). I know our house is quite small but we do still have the cross trainer in the lounge, until it's moved upstairs and somehow the multigym fit in the shed, I can always remind him of these things!

As ever my boys, Hubs, Little and Small are being truly amazing!

Signed with love
Grumpy or Eeyore, I'm not quite sure which or who I'm resembling most! Now when I pictured myself as a donkey that did make me laugh. Could be the ass thing! xx

p.s. at the weekend I'm going to cook something with Hubs and we'll post about it. I'm going to stat planning tomorrow as I want to have very lovely things!


slush said...

Oh Amanda, I am so sorry sweetie. My heart goes out to you. How miserable that you know what needs to be done and you have to wait for it to happen, all the while in pain. You have definitely been in my thoughts. I wish I were closer and could help out. Sending gentle hugs your way! Try and take it easy. Although, you're stuck at home, you're probably tired of taking it easy. xoxo

Lydia (The Perfect Pantry) said...

Well, the good news is that you will have the surgery, and then at some point you will feel better -- and that is something to look forward to after this long time of feeling miserable. We'll all be right there with you.

glamah16 said...

Get well.

Aimée said...

Thinking of you...
I'm up at 1 AM, too. Feeding time!

Joanna said...

Oh Amanda ... if you're only grumpy, you're a better woman than I am, that's for sure. As for eBay, well that sounds like a good idea to me - what about selling the crosstrainer on eBay to make room for the lovely chair etc? On second thoughts, perhaps that's not such a good idea ;)

I really hope you get your op soon, and that normal life can resume as soon as possible

Best wishes

Amanda at Little Foodies said...

Hey Slush, Thank you! Your thoughts mean a lot! x

Hy Lydia, Thank you. I know, I promise I do keep telling myself that. x

Hi Glamah16, Thank you x

Hi Aimee, Yippppeeeeee! I'm crying now! BUT pure tears of joy. Well done Sweetie you had the baby! x

Hi Joanna, Thank you! I LOVE ebay. What a brilliant invention. I'm sure the people who invented it are billionaires now and so they should be! I'm going to need the cross trainer when I'm all better (cough! cough!) x

Thanks for your comments
Amanda x

Sylvie said...

Hi Amanda, I'm crossing my fingers that you'll get to the top of the waiting list quickly. Godspeed!

David Hall said...

Thinking of you Amanda! At least you have Ebay to keep you company - and all of the time in the world to think up some amazing recipes.

Sincerely hope that you are going to be well soon, keep the faith.

Luv Dave x

Asha said...

So sorry Amanda, but all the major organs are doing well so far, so it is positive news. Do you know lot of Brits and Americans go to India for surgeries and come back healthy and happy after 2 weeks? Instead of waiting in pain for 2 months, you could do that. Consider it. We have excellent surgeons in Mumbai, Chennai and Bangalore.
Good luck and hugs to you. Don't worry about replying for comments, no big deal!:)

Amanda at Little Foodies said...

Hi Sylvie, Thank you! x

Hi Dave, Thanks mate. What would you like I'll bid for you too. I think I could become the Queen of ebay! x

Hi Asha, Oh the thought of the sun alone is so tempting! Thank you. x

Thanks for your comments.
Amanda x

Kelly-Jane said...

I really hope you don't have too long to wait. Fingers crossed for everything to go well.

You are def not grumpy normally!

Deborah said...

I hope you start feeling better - I am thinking of you here!!

Anonymous said...

Hi Amanda, Sorry you were having such a rotten day yesterday, you really sounded yuk. Hopefully it will all get sorted out soon. See you next week - just wish we lived a little nearer - the boys will keep you smiling - even when the pain is nearly too severe to bear - just think about all the funny things they come out with - small might even make your pain misappear. Love You Loads Mxxxx

Amanda at Little Foodies said...

Hi Kelly-Jane, Thank you my very sweet friend! x

Hi Deborah, Thank you, hope your husband is all healed now too. x

Hi Mum, I know - sorry and they are keeping me sane. xx

Thanks for your comments.
Amanda x

Cynthia said...

Dearest, I wish I was nearby to offer to help out in any way I can but know that you are in my thoughts and I am truly sorry that you are in so much pain.

Please continue to keep us updated.

Love and hugs.

Cottage Smallholder said...

A great big yet gentle hug from me. So pleased to see your post this morning when I strayed onto your blog hoping for a post. Thanks for the update.

Good news that you will have the surgery but so sorry to hear that you are in such pain.

Take great care Amanda. Thinking of you.

Gemma said...

I am sorry to hear that your back is so bad, hopefully you can get the surgery sorted out quickly to get better and get back to doing the things you love.

Gemma x

MyKitchenInHalfCups said...

Do stay sane but do take care of yourself! I'm so sorry you're not feeling better.

Amanda at Little Foodies said...

Hi Cynthia, Thanks and I know I'd absolutely love your food. I'll just have to imagine it instead, alongside the Barbados sunshine (it will do me the world of good)! x

Hi Fiona, Thank you, I can see light at the end of the tunnel now so I'm feeling a bit better today.x

Hi Gemma, Thank you, I'll be doing the things I love soon enough, I just have to keep believing that. x

Hi Tanna, oh I don't think I'll ever be sane, how dull that would be! tee hee! x

Thank you for your comments.
Amanda x

Annemarie said...

Sorry to hear it all seems very bleak right now. Take pleasure in the days getting longer, and if ebay ever looses its pull you should look into the crafty version of it called etsy - also highly addictive.

Amanda at Little Foodies said...

Hi Annemarie. I think I've heard of Etsy but will have to check it out. Sounds just my sort of thing!

Amanda x

Marie said...

so sorry that you are going to need an operation Amanda. My thoughts and prayers have been with you and the family and will continue until this is all just a bad memory. (((hugs)))

joey said...

I'm so sorry to hear this :( I'm sending a lot of warm thoughts your way! I'd love to drop by for a cup of coffee or maybe some exotic softdrinks in fancy glasses if only I lived nearer :) In the meantime...enjoy the boys and ebay!

Pat said...

Awwwwww Amanda Big big hugs to you hun. Send hubby to the library to pick up a few good cookbooks that you haven't seen and look up some lovely recipes to try once you are feeling better. Hope you can have the op soon.
All the best.

Nora B. said...

I am sending big hugs your way, and hoping that my package is still on it's way to you and that the mail man is not eating or wearing any of its contents!

ebay is addictive isn't it? Let us know when you fix the date for the op.

take care my dear,
xx nora

Caffienated Cowgirl said...

LOL about eBay...your "down time" is becoming expensive, isn't it?

Keep the faith :)

Amanda at Little Foodies said...

Hi All,

Definitely going private and op is booked for 19th March! So just over a week to wait.

Marie, thank you, you're very kind.

Joey, thank you, you'd be most welcome anytime.

Pat, thank you, now why didn't I think of the library instead of on-line book and other things shopping?! hehe!

Nora, thank you, I love our postman but I think he must be. I shall ask him. I do know that for some reason, some packages are held up by customs for ages and then get released. I don't know why.

CC, thank you, it's expensive indeed and even worse I've bought things near enough to be collected to Hubs has been driving all over the countryside picking things up. I think I need to stop but it's just so satisfying!!!

Thank you all for your comments.
I'll keep you posted.
Amanda x

Pig in the Kitchen said...

God Amanda, that's really rough news. It's gone from slight back problem to full on take-me-seriously injury hasn't it? I don't know what to say, obviously platitudes are no good, and i can't even instruct you to drown your sorrows...although you could in one of those Innocent smoothies, they're rather yummy aren't they?
Have you tried audio books? altho i suppose you can still read can't you? What about watching all those movies you've always wanted to watch?
Good luck, thinking of you.

Amanda at Little Foodies said...

Hi Pig, You know what's funny is that I've always thought of myself as being very good at doing the old sloth thing... But I realise now that I am quite active, I just don't do the traditional exercise thing. Anyway, it 'the op' will be done next week and then we can get back to normal hopefully. Who am I trying to kid - what's ever normal around here?!

Quellia said...

Oh dear...
Well at least you know there is an end in sight, and you know you are surrounded by friends, family and love. Probably won't help when you feel like bitting someone's head off, I know.
Sending good thoughts your way, across the ocean and time zones!

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